Everyone always talked about how great motherhood was for them… but I struggled because I didn’t see it like that. I’ve come to find out that there were a few things that new moms dared not say to each other in the open… but I wish someone would’ve had the courage to tell me so I didn’t feel so alone.

You see, parenting wasn’t easy for me. It was the exact opposite of everything that everyone said it would bee. It was tough… Like, sobbing, angry, stressed out kind of tough.

I think what made it even tougher was that everyone else seemed to have it so easy! And when you think everyone’s got this thing except for you… you kinda’ feel like a super loser… like a BIG failure.

But you know what I realized by talking to other moms? They were struggling just as much as I was… they just didn’t show it. Apparently, I didn’t show it that much either.

We, us, this close-knit community of new mothers, we’re not so different… We’re all the same, walking the same path, going towards the same goal.

At the end of the day, no matter our religion, color, family background, upbringing… we all want the same thing for our kids. That’s for them to be successful and happy and to grow up to be a great human being.

So First, I want you to stop comparing yourself to other moms.

I know how tough that is… with Instagram and Pinterest it looks as though those “other moms” have it all together.

The thing you don’t get to see is the pile of toys they stashed away in the corner for that “money shot” or the 100 photo takes they had to do to catch the “perfect moment” when their baby finally stopped crying after 30 minutes and looked at the camera for a split second.

It’s so easy for us to compare ourselves to other moms and judge ourselves for our perceived inadequacies… so I wanted to write this post to show you that we’re not so different and that we’re all struggling with the same stuff.

Second, you’re not the only batshit crazy mama in this world.

When everyone’s talking about how wonderful it is to be a new mom, they forget to tell you about “all the other stuff”… The stuff that ain’t so nice. The stuff that’ll make you feel totally wacked out.

So here it is… truth bombs about motherhood that no one will tell you.

Motherhood Secrets #1: No Love at First Sight

When you first pop your baby out covered with all that goo and slime, it’s not exactly love at first sight.

Sure there are plenty of new moms that gush with love, but if you’re not one of them please don’t freak out.

Personally, I never got how moms instantly fell in love with their slimy baby. And from talking to other moms, there are a LOT of other moms out there that feel the same way. After all, you’ve been pushing for agonizing hours and feel like you just boxed with Mayweather.

Yup, call me a monster (or just normal…). I hate to admit it but it took me MONTHS to feel any twinkle in my heart. That’s just #realtalk. **I just hope my baby doesn’t ever read this one day… or I’ll have lots of explaining to do.

Motherhood Secrets #2: Sad, Empty, Crazy

It was right after delivery and the nurse had taken my baby for a checkup. I was so damn sad, like miserably sad. I just knew that this was the biggest mistake of my life bringing this innocent child into this shitty world.

I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I didn’t feel like myself, I felt so lost, confused, and like a stranger in my own body.

It’s normal. If you’re feeling like this you don’t have to suffer thinking it’s just you. I know how that feels like because I’ve totally been there!

It could be postpartum depression (you can click here to take a test and see if you have PPD), the baby blues, baby anxiety, your hormones, or a hundred other things. You just created an amazing human being inside of your body so give yourself time to heal and get back to normal. That can take a year or 1.5 years (in my case) but it gets better, amazingly better.

Motherhood Secrets #3: Everyone But Me

You’re gonna feel like everyone’s got this, except for you.

Can I give you a super simple word of advice? Stay off Instagram and Facebook where “those other moms” seem to have a perfect uncluttered house or the perfect baby that sleeps through the night, smiles 24/7, and acts like a Barbie doll.

What you don’t see is the pile of trash that the “Instagram photo” didn’t take in the corner. You don’t see the mom hanging over her baby to capture that “perfect” baby moment to show off her “perfect” baby smile. While you’re figuring out a way to be the best mom you can be, they’re figuring out how to take the perfect photo. Don’t fall for it… you just don’t see that they’re losing their shit behind the camera.


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Motherhood Secrets #4: Goo and Gunk

Having a baby is like taking a fast track train into a dumpster, literally. They’ll spit up all over your back. They’ll pee on you when you try to change their diaper. Their poo will explode out of their diapers onto their back, crib, sheets, toys, and somehow even manage to reach their toes and mouth. They’ll pee all over your floor. They’ll toss food over their head. They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

They’ll spit up all over your back. They’ll pee on you when you try to change their diaper. Their poo will explode out of their diapers onto their back, crib, sheets, toys, and somehow even manage to reach their toes and mouth. They’ll pee all over your floor. They’ll toss food over their head. They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

They’ll pee on you when you try to change their diaper. Their poo will explode out of their diapers onto their back, crib, sheets, toys, and somehow even manage to reach their toes and mouth. They’ll pee all over your floor. They’ll toss food over their head. They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

Their poo will explode out of their diapers onto their back, crib, sheets, toys, and somehow even manage to reach their toes and mouth. They’ll pee all over your floor. They’ll toss food over their head. They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

They’ll pee all over your floor.

They’ll toss food over their head. They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

They’ll eat their boogers… repeatedly. They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

They’ll dig up trash from the trash can. It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

It sounds disgusting, and it is, but you figure out a way to survive.

Motherhood Secrets #5: Breastfeeding Freaking Sucks

You’d think that breastfeeding comes naturally. There’s a reason all those new mommy classes teach breastfeeding. I always wondered how animals get it so easily and we can’t figure this shit out. When help or courses are offered on breastfeeding, take it! And it hurts, like bleeding, scabbing pain. I gave up after a few days… Kudos to all you mamas out there that stuck it through!

I always wondered how animals get it so easily and we can’t figure this shit out. When help or courses are offered on breastfeeding, take it! And it hurts, like bleeding, scabbing pain. I gave up after a few days… Kudos to all you mamas out there that stuck it through!

When help or courses are offered on breastfeeding, take it! ‘Cause it hurts… like crazy! After enduring bleeding, scabbing, burning pain I gave up after a few days… Kudos to all you mamas out there that stuck it through!

Motherhood Secrets #6: Opinion Overload

Everyone’s gonna have an opinion about you, your baby, and the way you raise your kid. Even complete strangers in the bathroom of Walmart will give you earth shattering advice about how to pull up your babies pants.

Thanks lady, but no thanks. If you hold your baby too long, you’ll spoil him. If you don’t hold him long enough, you’re a heartless beast. Take it with a grain of salt… or walk away from them mid-sentence so they get the point that their advice isn’t welcome.

If you hold your baby too long, you’ll spoil him. If you don’t hold him long enough, you’re a heartless beast. Take it with a grain of salt… or walk away from them mid-sentence so they get the point that their advice isn’t welcome.

Always trust your instincts and let it guide you when you have multiple opinions about how to raise your kid. There’s truth in every advice but they’re not all meant to fit what’s best for your baby.

Motherhood Secrets #7: You Want to Fight a Kid

Every time someone hurts your kid or they call him names, you want to fight the kid. I hate to admit it but mama bears have crazy instincts to “PROTECT” their child… even from a damn5-year-oldd.

Having a kid is the best time machine, ever. It instantly transports you back to when you were 5 with absolutely no emotional control, you know? I mean, what adult in their right mind wants to scream uncontrollably at another kid?

I hate to say it… I DO!

Motherhood Secrets #8: The Enemy

For some odd reason, your hubby becomes enemy #1. Nothing he does is good enough. His presence annoys the crap out of you. All you want to do is cuddle with baby, not him. His request for sex is a reason to become mentally 5 years old again. Then when you see him holding and loving your baby… I mean, our baby,it’s like the whole world could stop and your heart is filled with love. Then he puts that baby down and you just want him to go crawl under a hole somewhere again.

Motherhood Facts #9: Crazy Instincts

You might be confused. You might not know what to do. You might not know a thing about motherhood. But your instincts will never fail you. And trust me, everyone else is winging it, too. Some, like you, just make it easier by learning as much as they can about being the best mom.

Motherhood Secrets #10: Not Yourself

Your hair will start falling out. You’ll get more wrinkles. Your face will start sagging. Your weight will not come off that easily. Your awesome metabolism will come to a screeching halt after having a baby. Not to scare the shit out of you, but we are ALL walking that same journey, so don’t feel bad.

Motherhood Secrets #11: Baby Private Parts

Babies play with themselves and they touch their privates. Don’t get freaked out by this, like I did. They are human, after all. They’re just discovering themselves and their little bodies.

 

Motherhood Secrets #12: Hammer to the Heart

Elizabeth Stone said, “Making the decision to have a child — it’s momentous. It’s to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” If another kid hurls an insult at your child and you see the hurt on your child’s face, it’s like someone stabbed you in the heart with a knife. Every fever and boo boo hurts like it’s your own and you wish you could take that pain away. Your heart has forever been high jacked.

I hope this list helps you navigate all those pesky judgements that’ll pop up so often in your head. Don’t judget yourself. Trust that you are doing the best that you can. And know that everyone is struggling right along with you.

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